Being that today is Saturday, the vast population knows that I run, every Saturday, a long distance because I need to. My running, well it saves the world, as that is how I blow off steam and clear my head. It is my two hour to four hour long session of therapy in dead silence.
Well today, I admit that I overdid it to say the least. I ran twelve miles with Lori and then got some water and took off by myself exploring for another six miles. Some of those last miles were on sand, up steep inclines that I had not explored until today. I don't know what came over me but I just needed to go into uncharted territory for a moment. When I say sandy incline, I could have repelled down the thing. I almost had to get on my hands and knees to get back up the hill, it was torturous and yes I loved every second of it. Finishing that hill, I felt like Rocky and was grinning all the way back down the other side. So to say the least, it was an adventure.
The adventure became a rude awakening when I started to think to myself that my idea of fun is pretty warped. It doesn't change my idea of fun at all but it is what it is and that is warped. I enjoy a challenge, pushing my self to the limit, full capacity, overload. I am still searching for that thing that will be and I quote myself" so difficult that I never ever want to do it again." So the search continues and while it does, I get to process information, deal with problems and work out my own aggressions, just me, the road and my Mizunos Wave Inspires.
So when I left out on my six mile trek alone after the twelve with Lori, my intention had just been to go and do a little hill work. I saw the sand hills and could not resist. After I finished torturing myself up there, I had the choice to make, half mile home or two miles home. Rule of thumb for me, always take the scenic route, so two miles home it was. The rolling hills of Miles road offer beautiful scenery, horses, passer, a couple ponds and the occasional snake.
Over the past few years, two years to be exact, these roads in Elgin, have been my sanctuary. Through running, I have dealt with deaths, getting up to run twenty miles before my grandma's funeral, my friend's murder, where I ran as hard as I could because I was so angry crying the whole time. I have processed happy times, relived memories, dove into sheer happiness on the road and tapped into mental strength, focus and the determining factor of what I am made of. There is a calming factor in the run, the endorphins maybe, but I think it's being empowered by knowing I can go further than I think, tapping into that which is way down deep, true grit, that is mine, I own it and the knowing that at the end I will be going home.
It never fails, when I am about to begin the last three miles I think to myself, I am almost home. The return home is always the best part, just like crossing the finish line somewhere, the people that love me most are waiting there for me.
Needless to say, though I don't write about it as much, I am still and will always be an athlete. After the wedding and honeymoon is over, training at full capacity will begin again, then I will be a wife, mother and athlete.
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