Fairy Godmothers, Sisters and the rest of the Menagerie

It helps when I have my own personal Fairy Godmother and the rest of the menagerie...



What started as a small affair has blossomed into something that only I can imagine.  Clients, friends and many other people have come together to help bring our wedding day together for Nik and me. I know it will exceed my expectations.


I knew my clients and I were close and had crossed the line into friendship however I never imagined how much.  I have had so many of them surprise me with services that they offer, helping to finish pay off dresses, donating their time, above and beyond what they had to.  I have been shocked to find that they want to do it because they want to, not for any other reason, there is no hidden agenda, just out of the goodness of their hearts.  I have expressed to them that things they are doing are not necessary and the response I get is that I am special to their families....


In my profession, I go through so much with my clients.  Births, deaths, weddings, graduations, bad days, and many other of life's adventures.  I have been told that this is their way of giving back to me.  I never dreamed it would be on such a grand scale. I am so thankful for each of them for making my job a pleasure and for accepting me into their families as well.  When I come home and tell Nik about what else has been given to us on a daily basis he tells me it is because they love me.


Each of you know what I mean and exactly of whom I am speaking.  I will never be able to thank you enough.


A list follows:


Dress: Paid in full
Hannah's dress:  paid in full
Catering: check
Serving dishes: check
Wedding Planner: check
Punch: Check
Decorations: Check
Set up: Check
Custom Invitations: check
Customized Wording for invitations: check
Photographer: check
Officiant: check


A special thanks to Mary Ann, Amy, Irma, Ily, Lori, Debbie, Beverly, Natalie, Temple, Laura, David, Laura, Greg, Brian, Rebecca, Sharon and Cindy. 


Oh and I have a new nickname...Cindi, short for Cinderella thanks to Beverly. 

We waited on each other for 21 years....allow me to explain....

I'm 38, he's 34. 

During different conversations over the last few years, the both of us realized that our paths had crossed so many times over the course of 21 years!  Happenstance, I think not, perfect timing, you betcha!

To begin with our first time being in the same place at the same time was when a wrestling, excuse me, wrastling event came to the Township Auditorium.  Lex Luger, Rick Flair, The Rock n Roll Express were on the card that night. I was fourteen at the time and my mother had taken me and my sister to the event.  Would you believe that Nik, who was ten at the time, and his dad were there as well.  We made this discovery when some of the same wrestlers came to Blythewood High School and in talking he mentioned that he had attended the same event.  Small world....

Second time... Schiano's, he worked there, I shopped in the mall where it was, all the time.

Third time, while I was in beauty school, I discovered this restaurant, Thai Lotus.  The reason I ate there was because the buffet was first off cheap, contained sushi and was minutes from the school.  Eating lunch there everyday was inexpensive and usually while I ate I read so I never looked up from my book.  During those same years, Nik ate there at lunch, also reading.  Neither one of us would have noticed each other any way, we were too busy blocking out the world, reading and both eating alone.

Fourth time, while he was training at Thai Kingdom, which is off Garners Ferry Road, his trainer lived at Colonial Villa apartments.  Guess where I lived, Colonial Villa Apartments. He drove to the apartment complex everyday to pick up his trainer.

As many times as our paths have crossed, neither of us noticed the other until precisely the right time. 

Here's to the past, the present and our future together and to the world for being so small!

and then there was Princess Hannah...

So after being informed that Hannah had to have a facial, a pedicure, manicure,  her hair this way, and a tiara to go with her princess pink fluffy gown with high heels, get the picture, I had to let her know that I was who was getting married. 

Today we set out, Carolina Couture bound, to find her dress.  I had asked her what she envisioned wearing.  Her response...strapless, fluffy, floor length and of course pink.  Well when we were at the bridal store shopping for me last Saturday, I had seen a girl trying on, exactly what I thought Hannah would like.  Today when we went in, Sierra pulled the dress for her to try along with a few others.  I saw her face when she put the one I thought she would like on, it was the dress.  She tried on a few more, but liked the first one best of all. OF course we ordered it in pink, it will be here in fourteen weeks. 

Ily is letting her borrow her tiara for the wedding....Princess Hannah.

I think I am going to need a team to get her ready on wedding day...

Another thing checked off the list...moving right along!

On to dress shopping...with the FAB FOUR!

The venue having been secured and my own need to go and look for a dress actually turned out to be painless, believe it or not.  I expressed my trepidation and was on guard as my entourage and I entered Carolina Couture to start the search for the perfect dress.  Hmmm, well I think I want, I'm not sure, I never really had a wedding, I probably shouldn't wear this because and what about the tattoos, all these things were going through my mind, but I wanted to be open minded seeing as how I never had the chance to be able to shop for whatever I wanted before, ever.  So with Ily, Irma, Lori and Laura, the Fab Four, in tow, the adventure began, short and sweet and virtually painless.


Sierra was the "dress specialist" we, yes we, would be working with, the "Fab Four's" opinion matters a great deal to me, the Bride.  She wanted to know what I had in mind, my response, maybe short, probably not formal, maybe a color, however I am open to try on whatever you think would work.  So she said you all come this way where we were led to a "closet" full of gowns...straight, beaded, strapless, cap sleeved, white, ivory, poufy, mermaid style, anything that could be imagined.  I backed away and told them they could pick some our for me to try on.  Listen I was looking at a bunch of beaded fabric that, well, let's just say I wasn't in my element.  They were happy to, so Ily, Irma, Lori and Laura all waited until the first dress with me in it emerged from the dressing room. Then one after another I tried on dresses, some were too big so the "jumper cables" had to be put on the back so it wouldn't fall off.  I liked different things on each one, one was the top part, one the back, another the bottom, one the fabric, another the train, another the way it bustled.


The entourage of four said to me, that when I found exactly the right dress, I would know.  I said ok.  Then Ily came from the back "dress closet"  and said as I was changing out the last dress, "I found this one. It may be too poufy but it has everything you liked on the other dresses."  I told her I would try it on.  She helped me into this one, which had a seatbelt. :)  The dress, and I cannot divulge too much of a description because I have to keep it a secret from my future hubby, fit perfectly and when Ily and I came out of the dressing room, the expressions on all three remaining entourage members said it all.  It was and is perfect.  It fits like a glove, the length is even perfect, no alterations are needed.  I felt like a...hold on...forearm to forehead and repeat after me, "What is happening to me." ...a princess. 


I kept "the dress" on for about thirty minutes while the Fab Four and Sierra picked out jewelry, hair pieces, veils, shoes for me to try on.  We all had such a good time. I am so glad they came along with me, to make this a memorable event. 


While Ily was helping me get "the dress" on, I asked her if she would help me get ready on my wedding day.  She said she would love to.  My daughters and I will be getting ready at Ily's house for the wedding.  I am very thankful she is such an active part in helping plan our wedding.  She found the venue and picked out the dress and I loved them both.  Hopefully, someone gets a picture of Nik's face when I appear on our day, Sunday, October 23 at 4 in the afternoon.  We may need to station someone in the event he faints, just saying. He can thank his sister, he is going to be blown away.

Just so you know, everything I said I wanted before in a dress, out the window.  The Fab Four were right, when the dress is "the dress" you know.  When I came out the dressing room, with Ily.  I stepped up on the platform in front of the three way mirror, Ily holding my hand as shoes were being put on my feet, a hush fell, followed by a few ahhhs, then came the smiles. It was "THE DRESS".  Ily had single handedly found a dress that Sierra didn't even know was in the store, and it was perfect in every way.  I had transformed into Cinderella, it was a magical moment that compared in my mind to crossing the finish line in Ironman 70.3 San Juan.  A memory that will never be forgotten.  I am very thankful for Ily, my future sister in law.


Checklist:


Food:  Irma's Catering
Serving trays: variety of friends and clients
Venue:  Lake House @ Lake Carolina, tables, chairs and table clothes included
Dress:  Carolina Couture
Flowers: Kroger
Photographer:  Cindy Faulkenberry Photography
Cake:  Cupcake
Nail polish color:  Skull and Glossbones by OPI

All 8 DONE!!




Seriously all this planning took all of three hours, not just the dress, all of it.  Other than the drive thru weddings in Vegas, I think we have set the record for speed planning. 

Family wedding planning company in the future, hell no, could not deal with Bridezillas.

Side note:  Any idea how hard it is to keep this from Nik?  He is my bestest buddy...but it will be so worth it!

The Lake House...perfect venue for us and it took less than 10 minutes to decide!

We found the venue!!!  Last Sunday, Ily, Irma and I sat

down and were discussing wedding plans when

 Ily thought about the Lake House at Lake Carolina an email was sent, and on  Monday we had gotten a response from Julia with a video attached for viewing to get a general idea.  Following the video, I contacted Julia to schedule a viewing.  There is only one word to describe this new venue and gem nestled quaintly in the cove on Lake Carolina complete with a sandy beach, dock, indoor and outdoor fire place and a fire pit.  Stamped concrete floors and exposed wood inside gives the venue a rustic, nostalgic yet when transformed for the wedding...simple elegance will emerge.  Imagine a sea of twinkling lights, candles, white pumpkins, crackling fires, round table covered in white tablecloths on a back drop of fall leaves and a breathtaking water front view surrounded by

our closest friends and family.  

As of yesterday by 12:10, the venue had been reserved...

In the beginning...Meeting HIS Mom

One thing I need to say right now is that Irma, Nik's mom and my future mother in law, is the kindest, most understanding and least judgemental person I have ever had the privilege to know.  But the initial meeting of her had me in a state of sheer panic.

Sicily 1943 (Sophia Patrillo form the Golden Girls), just kidding...

Almost three years ago, Nik wanted to take me to meet his mom. I was honored, excited and oh my god nervous doesn't accurately describe the emotion that I felt.  It didn't really help that he told me two weeks in advance so I had plenty of time to create these scenarios in my mind of a disaster taking place at the initial meeting. Here I am (for two weeks) trying to think about what I was going to wear, remember the tattoos and first impressions, thank goodness it was the fall and it was COLD!  Long sleeves, I was saved, because you know even I couldn't pull off a long sleeved shirt in the summer now, come on! 

I was working with a dear friend Holley at the time.  I discussed my fears with her, she lovingly offered me Xanax.  She understood and listened and laughed hysterically at me.  She even helped me decide what to wear, jeans, white button up and Chuck Taylors of course. 

So the day came after waiting what seemed like years, Nik picked me up.  He took me early so that I could meet her before everyone else arrived. He introduced me at his sister, Ily and her husband, Brad's birthday gathering.

When I got there, she made her grand entrance.  The first thing I noticed was her smile.  I had already been warned that Hispanic people hug, a lot.  Nik had warned me because I am really, well was really, a space person and would stiffen up when someone would try to hug me.  Well she hugged me, for real not for show.  We sat on the couch and talked.  It was great. 

I found out later on that she was nervous to meet me as well. Nik laughs to this day about my trepidation concerning meeting her.  We got along immediately.  We bonded over the love of strong coffee, Bustelo which she introduced me to that night, Madea (Tyler Perry) movies and the love of her son, my future husband.

After we left her house that night, I told him and remind him often how lucky he is to have such a wonderful mother. Something else profound happened that night, there is something special about the way a man treats his mother, it spills over into the way he treats his girlfriend, fiance, and wife. I already knew I loved him, but when I saw the interaction between his mom and him, I loved him even more.

That night I told him that I loved him for the first time...

Rule #1...IT IS OUR DAY!

Conversation this morning between the two of us concerning the menu follows: 

Him: Peanut butter and jelly sandwiches

Me:  We have to have a protein shake bar

Him: Popsicles

Me:  Larb

Him:  Fried wontons

Me:  fruit add ins and a blender for the protein bar

Him:  white rice with a little bit of curry

Us:  Hot dogs and smores

Us: Hola chips and salsa

Brown bag style! 

Rule #1  IT IS OUR DAY!

   *and when in doubt refer back to this rule*

Of course it was all in fun that we were having this discussion, however don't be surprised if I whip out a protein bar at some point during the day, that's just how I roll.  Seriously though we have a lead out on a caterer and none of the above are included well maybe a few things but they will be tastefully done.  However refer back to Rule #1. 

As the planning continues I have been delighted to find many ideas, however be warned when I joined The Knot - Bride Tribe, I almost had a full blown panic attack as they so kindly told me that I was 168 things behind already.  Instantly I signed out the website, yelled at the screen that I am not behind on anything because until a few weeks ago I had nothing to be planning.  Damn!

List - Revised version of The Knot List

• Invitations:   wording because these cheeseball invitations, NOT going to work neither is a     day or five of a crafting session to put them together, just saying.  Easy, please!  Facebook Event?  Mass Text? 
• Guest list:  check
• Flowers:    what we can get at Kroger or Publics
• Venue:  viewing Saturday
• Cake:  Cupcake...where else?
• Food:  working on that
• Attire:  all depends on what I decide to wear

Then there comes the etiquette part and listen I am completely sensitive to other people's feelings but sometimes you just have to be blunt, not rude but just straight forward.  Right?  Probably not appropriate to put a Ghostbuster style emblem saying no children, huh?  Refer back to rule #1.

Well we all know that I have both arms completely sleeved, so when I go dress shopping this should be interesting.   Please note that pictures will be added from that day of trying on because I am willing to bet the saleslady will try to put me in a long sleeve dress...ain't happening.   I want something Jackie O or Audrey Hepburn style because it is all about the contrast.  Simple elegance with tattoos and it can be done.  Saturday will be an adventure to say the least.  Stay tuned...

Protein shake anyone?

Because of the card...

The decision to have a small ceremony followed by a reception came about pretty quickly.  Just a few weeks ago we had said that we were just going to the Court House and then have a reception, well not anymore. Trying to keep this wedding a small intimate affair is virtually impossible though we are trying extremely hard to do so.  Having never had a wedding myself and Nik who has never been married, he wouldn't care either way, the choice to do something a little more than a Court House event emerged partly due to my children, especially my daughters.  In my opinion their need to witness this event is important to me as well as them, so here goes nothing and everything. 

Let me back up a little bit to how we told the children.  I sent them a text because since they are older they all have their own agendas and most of the time they are out and about or working.  The text read this way: "Family meeting on Sunday 7:30."  In most cases that meant that we were having a discussion about something that wasn't desirable to bring up or they were in trouble for something so we meet in the living room to out it on the table.  All day long on Sunday, Brittany was so spastic about the whole situation she kept aggravating the snot out of me to tell her what was going on.  She went to work and sent out a mass text:  "Mom and Nik are getting married finally."  I kept telling her she didn't know what she was talking about because we wanted to tell them.  Finally when 7:30 arrived, we told them, they said they already knew. I asked them how they knew.  Their response was, "because you have been smiling so much that your face looks like it's going to crack!"  Oh well. 

Brittany threw us another curve ball and caught the both of us completely off guard.  Brittany tries to be a hard, walled-up girl, no emotion...(hmmm, wonder who she gets that after, but that is beside the point)...well she came home one night soon after and handed us a card, Congratulations on your engagement.  Inside she had written these letter to the both of us. While reading I got a lump in my throat, tears in my eyes because what she had written was so personal and heartfelt, not at all what I had expected and neither did Nik. We will cherish that card forever from B-Nasty as she signed it.

Then there's Hannah and all she wants is a big pink dress and a tiara.  She told me last night that I really need to decide on my colors.  Her suggestion and I quote, "Mom, I was thinking that you really should use pink and black because you know I have to wear pink and Brittany has to wear black.  Hannah wants a dress that looks like a "Quinceanera" dress, or something from "My Big Fat Gypsy Wedding."  She did say she would compromise and wear a short dress but that it had to be pink and puffy. Go figure. She informed me too that she would have to get her nails done as well, remind me...who's wedding is this? :-)

There's a funny story about the quinceanera.  Hannah wanted to celebrate her fifteenth birthday as the Hispanic culture does.  She had planned everything she wanted for her food menu, what dishes she wanted Nik's mom, Irma to prepare, dishes Nik needed to make, all the plans were made in her mind.  Well that afternoon we were all watching "Barnyard."  She looked at Nik and said, "You know there's a Mexican rat in this Nik?"  I responded to her that Nik wasn't Mexican that he is Puerto Rican. The look on her face was priceless and this squashed her quinceanera dream birthday because Nik wasn't Mexican! 

My son, Devyn, there aren't really funny stories except one that comes to mind. Last year at the beach, Nik and Devyn were fishing, which something that they enjoy together. Something hooked Devyn's line and he yelled to Nik, " I can't reel it!"  Nik thought he was going to to lose Devyn!

We shall see how this planning goes, with a short window before the date, time is of the essence.  Venue viewing is Saturday, dress shopping Saturday afternoon, menu discussion somewhere in there Saturday...hmmm,  I completely understand why wedding planners make the big bucks, good lord.

I want to stay true to who we are, nothing stuffy, nothing formal, nothing too traditional and most importantly something that is fun and memorable.  Fun being the key word....

How it all began....

We began as friends, he, my Muay Thai instructor, I was the student. Friends, sharing commonalities, then unbeknownst to me, my oldest daughter decided to play matchmaker...we have been inseparable since.  Our first date was Hola Mexico. Now almost three years later, he got down on one knee in his Muay Thai trunks and proposed. We're engaged, have a date set and are in full planning mode. 

When we called to tell people about the upcoming wedding, responses ranged from "I knew it" from the kids, to "could you repeat that" from his mom and and epic response from his friend Rauseo which referred to the "Sanford and Son" tv show about "the big one." 

Feelers are out for venues, caterers and for a few bouncers. Just joking about the bouncer part but who thought this planning would take so much work....  (Place forearm on forehead and repeat after me - What is happening to me?)  I am beginning to delegate and have found a huge resource in my future sister-in-law, thank goodness for her.  Dress shopping with my entourage will begin on Saturday.  As soon as we nail down a venue which I think is in the works as I type...fingers crossed...then we can  begin invitations.  I still sometimes wish I had  made a Facebook event and been done with it, but that's tacky right? How about a mass text?

So here we go date, venue, dress, invitations,caterer, flowers, table decorations, bar...HONEYMOON!  And  just in case anyone was wondering I am hugely Type A...so this should be interesting to say the least.  Most importantly though, I have Nik who is my grounding force with the ability to reel me back in...

Let the adventure begin...Sunday, October 23, 2011.